Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
