So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
