i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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