Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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