If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
