well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize