He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
time to smoke my breakfast
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
