Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
