They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
