you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
