I just pynch a tree in the face
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
