just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize