He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
