it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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