i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I think im going to throw up on grandma
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
