Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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