no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
there is puke in my bra ... again
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
