Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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