My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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