Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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