Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
