so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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