living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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