My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
