I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You were trust falling into bushes
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
