Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
My friends, they love my intelligence
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
