Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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