It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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