I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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