he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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