I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
