You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
