I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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