I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
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he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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