I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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