you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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