Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I have surprise drugs for everyone
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We're too hungover to prance.
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