i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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