I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize