i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
