I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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