And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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