My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
