Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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