i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
This toilet bowl is my home.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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