hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
