Pregnant stripper...not hot.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
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Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
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I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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