oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
the day after is always just damage control
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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