oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
