The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Someone shattered a urinal.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY