he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.