so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
