I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
