Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
