I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
