that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
