I will die if light touches me.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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