I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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