she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.