I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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