if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned