it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
