What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
