I got chris browned last night
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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