i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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