Whod you bang
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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